"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily." - ZigZiglar

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The self absorbed life

I think I am growing old or I am terribly old fashioned. When I look around I see a whole new breed of mankind, a self absorbed and self indulgent race. I am sure that I would feel totally out of place here, if not for my attitude not to see or dwell upon the negative things of life. Self indulgence maybe okay to an extent, but when people cannot think or see beyond themselves, it tells me that something is wrong with the world.

'It's all about me' - this is the attitude of  a self absorbed person, everything that happens around him/her is all about him/her. It speaks of shallowness of the soul which cannot grow to accommodate others into the weave, weft  and warp of the fabric called life. This makes the person hard to relate to and  difficult to have a conversation with. Most conversations end up being  one-way lanes which can be best labelled as self absorbed ramblings seeking to grab the lime light / attention of the other.

Every interaction seem to be weighed on just one factor - 'what is in it for me?'.  In their preoccupation they seem to believe that they are entitled to get anything they want at the cost of others. They demand attention expecting people to drop what ever they are doing and to listen to them or come to their aid. The lack of consideration and concern for others shines through it all. Envy and insecurity seem to be their hallmark often disguised beneath a veil of confidence. This is a sad life indeed.

Making use of others for my personal gain would not even merit my consideration, yet the world around me today seems like a microcosm of coexistent parasites. This makes trusting another person difficult. This also makes human relationships very complex and very mathematical by nature. I am poor at math skills... perhaps that is why I am unable to reduce relationships to a such equations.

I am glad to have learned values that were different. I am glad to have been born in a different time and age when it was important to consider the priorities of others before you thrust yourself on them. Life then was all about putting others before self. Helping others and being courteous were considered virtues worth cultivation. There was this sense of community and unity then. Today, I would love to know my neighbor, but he is too busy to stop and smile or say hello. He even goes one step further, to duck behind the blinds to avoid everyone.

This seems to me like a claustrophobic world which is just wide enough for one person. There is a growing fear, a paranoia around us. People are interested in what they can get from others while living in fear of being asked for favors. Widening your world to include others may have its difficulties, but it certainly makes your world more colourful, rich in experiences and filled with varied flavours. It makes the milk of human compassion flow through you, making you whole as a person. It opens your eyes to the plight of others making your pain and difficulties pain pale into insignificance. It teaches you to give, receive, live in hope and reach out to others. It adds more dimensions to life. It gives reality to existence. It brings you to the realization that there is more joy in giving than in taking/grabbing.

Maybe be its time we changed and went back to the roots of community living. Life is worth living only when you live with a purpose, when it grows out of the self absorbed existence. This may not be acceptable to many but this is what self improvement is all about.

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