Fake it and you won't make it

Self-improvement  - don't fake it

Fake it and you'll make it has been the self-improvement mantra for years now. I don't agree on this one.. I believe if you fake it you'll be found out. Instead make a sincere effort at self- improvement.

When there is a disconnect between your emotions and thought; your actions seem strange and alien even to your eyes. When you look at yourself as a stranger and need to take a second glance to make sure that the person in the mirror is you.. be sure the people around your would be even more critical of you. They are watching you at your new game under their magnifying glasses.

Okay, I hear your question loud and clear - How do I change myself?
Be true to yourself. Don't fake a behavior, instead make a sincere attempt to learn the new one. Your attitude is the difference.

When you fake something you lie to yourself, when you learn something you are honest about your lack of knowledge in that area.

Admit to your friends that you are trying to change yourself. You will find unexpected support coming from their side.

Tell yourself it is okay to fail. It takes the stress off you and you learn in an relaxed environment. It has been known that when learning takes place in a relaxed environment, learning is effective.

Self-improvement is not about faking, it is about making it in life. Faking it is adding stress to your already stressed life. For eg. if I have to fake happiness (thank heavens I never have to do that) I might find my face hurting with all those fake smiles. I would be stressed out emotionally, as it is not my nature to smile at those things that make me angry. I would possibly be at my breaking point and would be ready to pounce on some unsuspecting person.

Mentally, I working doubly hard as it have to remember that I need to fake a smile, be on my alert all the time and smile and bear it all when I would have been happily swearing at everyone.

Start with a self affirmation like I have the power to change.

Add a couple of affirmation about the specif change that you are aiming to make. Eg. I choose to be happy. I have control over my emotions.

This is very honest and acceptable affirmation. Your mind, emotions and actions can now work together in harmony.

There is no disconnect between your perception and action. The change will be smooth and transition won't hurt you too much.

Here is the new mantra - Take it from where you are and you'll make it!