As human beings we all strive to be our best. We desire to be known for our best qualities and for which we need to grow and mature as individuals. We all grow from childhood to teen years and into adulthood, but do we really gain the same level of personal maturity? No, we differ widely in this area. Having excellent professional skills or great IQ in itself does not mean that you have personal maturity.
What then is personal maturity?
Personal maturity is the total competence of a person, his/her competence and ability to adjust in these areas of cognition, affect and conation.
While cognition deals with one’s intelligence and competency in that area, affect deals with emotional competency and adjustment. Conation deals with behaviour, how one acts upon those thoughts and feelings.
So Maturity as we understand is how you perceive, emote and act in response to a particular person, place, things or situation.
A person could be intelligent, brilliant his professional skills, but poor in the areas of emotional and behavioural competencies.
I will be dealing with the affective or emotional and cognitive maturity in this post and the next few posts.
Emotional Maturity
There are a whole bunch of components that fall under the banner of emotional maturity.
we shall deal with a few here and take it to the next post where the rest can be dealt with.
Emotional control - here we consider the ability of the individual to have adequate control over his/her emotions, especially anger, jealousy, anxiety, worry, sadness, happiness etc.
Well I can see why anger or jealousy or sadness should be controlled but - why happiness you may ask . Yes even happiness needs to be expressed appropriately and within the limits of social acceptance. If you see someone being overly excited and acting it out, what would be the first thought to cross your mind? We just need to keep things in perspective.
The ability to express anger or disappointment needs to be done in a way that is controlled but clear, dignified and not provocative. Often people lose it all when the react instead of respond to the situation.
The ability to accept the faults of others is extremely important, no one is perfect. So why act is if you are? Especially when your anger shows you to be totally out of control. Whip lashing people even with words that sound controlled can be seen for what they are, emotions speak loud and clear so reign them in, show them who is boss.
Being able to keep yourself in a positive frame of mind and focus on enjoying what you have should keep sadness at bay. Worry never did or never will let you achieve anything so why worry?
Being self controlled is the key. Self discipline and focus on your goals could help you keep your emotions in check. Strive to strike a balance, stick to a middle path veering more to the side of happiness could help you stay balanced.
The feeling of security and self-confidence is another major factor in emotional maturity. The ability to trust people to give and take and have a balanced relationship is be an important step in emotional maturity.
If you feel that a witch hunt is on just because someone criticised you, you need to know that you are losing it. Taking negative feedback in the right spirit is the way to grow. If you wanted the whole world to agree with you don’t ask for feedback. Be ready to accept the truth when it is told, even if it tastes bitter. Gulp it, bitter medicines always leave you feeling better.
To be continued .... have a great day :)
To be continued .... have a great day :)
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