Live your dream - part 3

Live your dream - sofspics

The last two post on Live your dream I have been speaking about the positive and the negative connotations of dreams in our lives. I would like to focus on the positive aspects of dream in this post. I had mentioned a dictionary definition of how your your mind invests a series of thoughts, images, and sensations which become your dream.

Visualization as it is called is one of the greatest tools of creativity. It is easy to use this tool to make your dream a reality. Using thoughts, mind images and sensations you create the unseen reality of your dreams in your conscious mind. Vivid imagination is your best friend.

I had already mentioned another principle earlier. Your future is the result of what you prioritize and include in your daily routine.

Take time each day to do these two things to make your dream a reality, but for the spiritually inclined include the visualisation process in your daily meditation.

The very fact that your mind has created these dreams means it is spiritually in existence. Now make it a physical reality.

Picture yourself with your book, perhaps a cover page of your book, mine is a dream like cover of artistically designed front page in pastel shades bearing the title of my book. Envision the font, the font size and its placement. Go to the first page in your imagination and write a beautiful foreword by someone you really admire in the literary field, a current published author. This is a forceful way to have to motivation going strong. Publishing a book is not always easy. There are many who will tell you that your book will not sell or something negative. These are the times when you really need to have your motivation going strong. Spend at least ten minutes visualizing and enjoying the feel of the hard bound book in your hand ( for me it is) or being on the Amazon list of books. Thank God for the book, an attitude of gratitude builds positive energy around you.

In your everyday routine, add a new ideas or content, illustration to your file... I have spent some time picturing some characters for my book, and would soon be doing a couple of paintings myself.

This way I build my dream day after day,brick upon brick. Someday soon I would have all that I need to have my book published. No matter what your dream is, go for it today.

There may be road blocks or hurdles on the way but the key is to believe in yourself. I cannot over emphasise this point. Overcoming each hurdle in your way is what makes the goals sweeter and more meaningful for you! Go get your dreams! Live your dream!

Live your dreams Part2

Live your dream - sofspics

Continuing with  what I had said in part 1 of live your dream,  each of us have strong desires or what some of us call dreams, while some call them ambitions. The very fact that we call them dreams we have assigned to them a special status both positive and negative. Positive because that is the very thing that you would love to have in your life and negative because the words dream has a negative connotation to it - the dictionary would negatively define a dream as  unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy. It is easy to give up on your dreams if you consider them unrealistic or self-deluding.

If I still have your attention, that means you want to pursue your dreams. Make the unrealistic part of your dream workable and realistic. Study, research and find out all the pros and cons get into the finer details that could make your dream workable.  Plan and organize your activity to center around your dreams, if your dream is to write a book then plan to spend a major part of your day writing and improving your skills. My writing skills have become much sharper than what it has been a year ago. I have put in at least seven hours of work every day of the week at an average - usually more. I write all kinds of stuff, creative stuff, self- improvement articles that you see here and else where, scripture lessons. I spend a major part of my day making the unattainable attainable. Now, no one can ever tell me that my dream of publishing a book is a vain fantasy. Last week my brother called to ask me when he would see my book being published, I haven’t spoken to him about my dream, but he has seen my dream in my efforts. Now, my dream has became the dream of my loved ones too! A kind of collective dream. It is now impossible to run away from my dream, because I would be letting myself and others down. What a way to have yourself caught up in your dream! My point here is this, 'what you do daily is what you future will consist of'. So take care to see that what you dream of today is a part of your everyday routine.

Don’t let others talk you out of your dream. Your dream is yours alone and they do not know how important and precious it is to you. Listen to yourself not to the dissenting voices.

Getting to the positive connotation of the word dream - the dictionary defines it as - a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind, b) cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.

If your mind has invested a series of thoughts, images, and sensations in your dream that you find it exciting to even think of it, you should go for it. Creation happens twice, first in the mind and then in the real world. Your creation has already begun. It now needs your efforts your concrete plans so that it could become a reality. This is totally dependent on your faith in yourself.

Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you are capable of achieving your cherished ambitions? Do you believe you have the potential?

If YOU don’t, no one ever will! Believe in yourself today!

I will continue writing about this in another post very soon. Thank you for being with me and following me. Have a beautiful day!

Follow your dreams - quotes and reflections

Follow your dream quotes

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it. - William Arthur Ward.

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal. - Pamela Vaull Starr.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

You can't realize your dreams unless you have one to begin with. - Thomas Alva Edison

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes.

Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there. - Paulo Coehlo.

Hope is the dream of the waking man. - French Proverb.

The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment. - Earl Nightingale
Follow your dreams - my reflections and understanding

Follow your dreams I say, but I never knew, what it was to dream. I was the practical, logical woman, made so by a life that was not too easy. I deliberated and carefully studied life, planning one step at a time. Life was a terrible burden to carry. I often felt like 'Lady Atlas' carrying the world on my shoulders. I can honestly tell you that success was easy, but I was not happy within.
I had had enough of it. I sought after peace. I found peace in letting go. I found peace in listening to my heart. My heart had an intelligence that was far superior than the learned intelligence of the mind. I learned to trust my heart.
I became a dreamer. I dreamed of a life, of peace and happiness and I can honestly tell you I live it each day.
I do not shirk responsibility. I wake up each day at 5 AM. in the morning to make my dreams come true. I always dreamed of being a good mother, a loving wife and most importantly a better person. Every day is a step in that direction.
Dreaming of love, I lost my anger. Dreaming of beauty, I forgot my hurts and pains of the past. Dreaming of giving, my life became the best it could ever be, satisfied and truly happy.
Now, don’t mistake me, disappointments always linger around. There are times I feel I should have done better in a situation or spoken with more understanding and compassion. These are always turned inwards not as regrets or negative, accusing thoughts (I left them behind when I became a dreamer) but as pointers to become a better me.
I love who I am, if I cannot, I cannot be the one I want to be. If I am emotionally maimed I cannot love others.
I can love the one who has done me wrong, I may be angry and troubled at first, but the love inside keeps welling up, because I love me. I see the struggling me in those people.. the me that I once was. Hurting because of the rude words of others, hurting with the words that came out of my own mouth, I can see the old me. Now, as a dreamer it has become so easy to love, I still struggle with it at times, but I always overcome.
Everyday I fly on the wings of my dreams, to love, to nurture, to make whole, to forgive. Life has become the dream I had a long time ago. I continue to dream, as dreams take me to my destination. Dreams are my starting points to a better life. Dream on... dream up a better life.
Don’t just follow your dreams, after a point, lead your dreams. Make them go where you want to go.. Dream, dare to go where logic can never enter, dreams can enter those edifices of divine destinations. Follow your dreams .. follow your heart.. your spirit will lead you, into realms that we have just had glimpses of. Follow your dreams...

How to say I am sorry

Should you say I am sorry? How to say sorry? What will the other person think? There are so many questions when it comes to these three words, ‘I am sorry’. Most of us have been made to feel even as children that to say sorry is to accept defeat.  But that word sorry proves your mettle. Many men find it impossible to say, ‘I am sorry’, ‘I have hurt you’. ‘I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have said what I said’ or ‘done what I did’. The insecurity deep within us makes us think that when we say sorry, the other person would somehow have power over us.
In any relationship the word sorry has to be used frequently. Not because we have to make compromises, but because we commit mistakes, because we love, because that relationship means so much more to us than our silly egos. I have had the opportunity to meet a man who had never uttered the word sorry irrespective of what he did. Rationalising was his way to cope with the issue. The relationship did not stand a chance. On the other hand I have learned to make it a point l to say sorry even if I was on the right. This has helped me in most of my relationships with people.

What does saying I am sorry mean...
Sorry means you are strong enough to accept your fault.
Sorry means you care.
Sorry means you love.
Sorry means you want to mend fences.
Sorry means that you are willing to change.
Sorry means you know yourself.

How do I say sorry?
Well say it in person if you can and mean it. Accept your part. Tell the person that you were sorry that you hurt him or her. Look into his /her eyes and say it with sincerity.
Sending flowers and a card is great but follow up with a personal voicing of your regret.

Sorry but...
Oh never do that, the but cancels all that you said before. Saying sorry is not hard if you love/care enough.
Saying sorry is a way of showing respect for the persons deep feelings.
Saying I am sorry makes you a real man/woman. A person who is fallible, sometimes weak. Just remember that all of us make mistakes.
People can never relate to a person who cannot say sorry, this tells them that their relationship would be full of compromises and they would have to make all of it. This does not make sense, as all relationships are based on love, mutual trust, give and take and compromise. 

When you say sorry the other person feels this way..
Comfortable with you in the relationship.
Sees a reason to work through small issues and not make a big deal of it.
Loves you more for your sensitive nature.
Feels valued and respected.
Feels like they have to go the extra mile to be good to you.

You also project yourself as
A strong person in command of himself/herself.
A person capable of righting a wrong.
A person who knows how to handle his/her emotions.
Knows his worth and value.
Is confident but not proud or egoistic.
Saying sorry could never put you in a vulnerable position, if you haven’t tried it until now, try it right away and see the results! You would have saved a beautiful relationship.  

Training your mind

Training your Mind for the Task at Hand

I was up as usual early this morning chopping some vegetables and meat for the lunch that I had to pack for my kids. Today, my mind was not on the task at hand, it was wandering all over the place as I was worried about someone. I am sure you guessed it. Yes, I cut myself finger real bad. Yelping in pain, I also discovered that all my work had come to naught, as there was blood all over the chopping board. This meant that I had to start all over again. It was not only a waste of time and resources, but it also caused me quiet a bit of pain that even as I type this post, I am in considerable pain. 

Training your mind to be on the job at hand is an absolute necessity, whether you do the job routinely or do something that calls for attention to detail. Mistakes could cost you, your job itself or may cause an accident or waste of precious resources, but most of all may be a complete waste of time as you may have to retrace your steps and work through it all over again. You need to learn to train your mind to stay focused on the job at hand.

How to train my mind to stay on the task at hand?

Here are a few easy tips.

Do not let worry or anxiety fill your mind.

Before you start work, spend a few minutes to clear your mind of nagging worries or problems. Tell yourself worrying over something will not solve the problem. 

Promise yourself that you will attend to it when you have the time, if it is possible for you do do something about it. If not leave it.

Having done it, tell yourself I have done my part and try to enjoy what you do.

Excitement of any kind needs to be contained. A calm mind works more accurately and with a higher level of concentration than a mind that is jumping places. 

Taking deep breaths, holding it in until you are ready to explode could help you calm down, do it several times if you have to.

When thoughts of worry or distraction keep coming back as they probably would, so make sure you fill your minds with the job at hand. 

Let us say while I am currently writing out this post my thoughts stray elsewhere, I have to remind myself of the points that need to go into this post. Think about what else could be added to help some one reading this. 

This exercise would help brings my thought back to the job at hand. 

Training you mind calls for alertness and action.

Being aware of the thoughts that float around in your mind and replacing them with the most urgent and important thoughts about the task you are currently doing help reduce floundering of concentration.

You need to steer your thoughts and correct their course, frequently until it becomes a habit with you. 

Imagine. Well imagination is a great tool. Imagine that the job you are doing is completed perfectly, imagine the details that go into it, imagine the praise, imagine the rewards, motivate yourself to work in a focused manner.

Daily reflections are a great way to get rid of unwanted thoughts and worries. At the end of the day think of all that you have accomplished. The efforts that you have put in and give yourself a pat on the back emotionally to make you feel comfortable. 

Before you begin your day make a list of all that you want to do that day and think about how you could go about doing them. This keeps your mind focused on the tasks at hand. 

The greatest joy is in making the things you do enjoyable even if they are not fun things to do. Use your imagination.

Hope you have a fruitful day.

Be your own Boss - self-improvement

Sofspics- Be your own boss

Well, most of us would love to be our own boss, remember that when you are your own boss, the buck stops with you.

Truly, you are your own boss, it just calls for taking responsibility over your life. Every decision you make, every word, every action or thought is your own. You may be influenced or even overpowered by pressure, but the final decision to do or not to do anything is yours and yours alone.
Just think of this - isn’t it exhilarating that you are your own boss. In the sense that you are entirely and wholly responsible for your life. 

Your every plan and purpose is designed, designated and fulfilled by you and you alone. How much more powerful would you like?

Yet, we live our lives as though we were puppets, driven by our impulses, cravings and desires and we have no power over them. 

Could it be true that you have no power over them? Maybe you should ask yourself this question.
If you have no power over your own thoughts, desires, impulses and action, why then would you want to be free person? You are technically driven by that part of you which you have no control over. You are a slave to your thoughts, desires, emotions and impulses. 

If, this is an area of concern to you, you really need to work on the way you live your life. Especially in the area of your thoughts and emotions. I have written quite a few posts on these topics when I stared this blog.
Taken control over your thoughts.

Taken control over your emotions.

You have more power than you think. You will be amazed at what you can achieve when you are in control over your life. 

With taking responsibility, comes success, achievements and accolades. 

You become a person whom others look up to. 

You become someone who is trusted and people like to hang out with. 

You become the one who influences others, because you have taken charge of what is yours (and not the other way around).

Set your goals and give your life direction and purpose today, as your own boss.

Plan on how to achieve them and follow through with them till the end.

Make a commitment to yourself today that you will never let yourself down, you will make things happen. 

Believe in yourself.

Refuse to come up with excuses, let the if’s and but’s belong to others. You become a person of action, your own boss. 

Do not at any point in time relinquish your authority over yourself. This means that you are in charge of your words, actions, ambitions, circumstances, mental and physical health. 

If you are ready for such a responsibility you ARE your own boss. No one/ no circumstance has power over you!! Success is yours!!


Reading resources

Live life to the Hilt

Motivational quotes

New years resolutions - How to make new year resolutions

New years resolution - scale the heights

The time for new year resolutions is here... have you made yours?

I have made mine.. they were not made in the spur of the moment, but after much thought, deliberation and evaluation of my goals for the last year.

Being able to state your resolution clearly in measurable terms, that is what you want to achieve in the next 12 months should be your vision statement for the year.

Write it down and put it up in a place that is highly visible to you,would aid you in your motivation and progress.

Breaking the goal into distinct sub-goals and objectives makes it measurable and achievable.

Breaking them down to specific short term goals; for example I want to lose 15 pounds in three months, by the end of March, and would translate to losing 5 pounds each month.

This would tell you that you have to switch over to a high fiber diet, 30 minutes of exercising each day, cut down on sugar and ice-creams etc.

Without a workable goal or goals it is hard to achieve much. When your vision is clear and goals practical and achievable you are bound to succeed.

Very often goals that are based on whims and fancies fail, you need the drive to take you through to the achievement of your goals.

Goals should be need based, they should based on reasons why you want to achieve your goals, the motivation to achieve your goals should come from your intrinsic desire and should be self driven.

Goals that are realistic are more achievable. When they are realistic it is easy to follow through with them. The practical nature of the goals makes them appear easier to achieve. Wanting to become Celine Dione in a day or even a year could be unachievable if you start from scratch. I am sure she trained for years to sing the way she does.

All goals should be time specific, this gives direction and allows you to measure progress from time to time. Larger goals like wanting to write 500 articles in a year could be broken down to something like writing at least an article a day and a couple of extra articles a week. This makes the task approachable, a huge number like 500 which would make the less motivated to buckle under pressure.

So make sure that your New years resolutions are well thought out and planned before your embark on your journey.

Wish you all the success and motivation to make your dreams come true.

Love yourself - self love part -2

sofspics - self-love

Continued ...http://mindspacearena.blogspot.in/2011/12/love-yourself-how-to-love-yourself.html

I read this somewhere, libido is the one thing that never stops giving... Speaking of love... I would like to reiterate that true love never stops giving. While lust and libido do go on and keep looking for fresher pastures, true love gives. Love yourself.
I brought this up here to say that, you need to love yourself every minute of the day, everyday of the year and every year of your life.
Loving yourself brings out the best in you. Yesterday, I was at a party, I dressed with care (I hardly ever do that) and told myself that I look beautiful. I just entered the hall and a young man I have known for a long time, walked up to me and said , “Ooh la la ... do you look pretty?”
This was followed by a many other compliments, and I left wonderful. Can you see what a little self love could do, I haven’t thought of myself as ‘beautiful’ in a long time.
You need to love yourself before the world loves you. Your inner feeling shows up outside, on your appearance, on your countenance, in your attitude.
Loving yourself means cutting self criticism out, being realistic is different from being cynical and being your own enemy. You  have enough people to be negative towards you...don’t add to the numbers.
Loving yourself is to be positive. To believe in yourself and believe that your best is yet to come. This is an amazing way to live life. Everyday is something to look forward to, no matter what you are going through. Try it. It works all the time.
Love yourself and stop worrying, oh those darned worry lines, I guess you hate them as much as I do. Quit worrying, laugh more, have fun. I promise you, you will look much younger.
Enjoy what you do. Make each thing that you do, a real fun thing. Then you will live life without regrets.
Never give up, on yourself. Trust yourself, trust your abilities your potential. Sometimes you need to learn to trust yourself more than you trust others. Trusting yourself is to love yourself without doubt. Trust is the highest form of love. Self-love begins with self trust.
Make time for yourself. Well if you ask me, this is one area in which I really need to work. We so often put others and their needs above ourselves that sometimes we do ourselves more harm than good.
No again, I am not speaking about being narcissistic. I am not speaking about self love to the exclusion of others. I an talking about making time for yourself, your exercises, relaxation, family time, a little pampering of yourself. Work is important, but work is not everything. Love yourself.

Love yourself - How to love yourself Part 1

sofspics - love yourself

Love yourself.  It is the greatest of all commandments, love one another as you love yourself. To simplify this I will divide this into two parts. Love others, love self. It is important to love yourself if you want to love others.
If you cannot love yourself when you are filled with self-hatred and unhappiness, you really cannot be good to others. You can only give what you have. Start by loving yourself today, whether you have any kind of faith or not believe in yourself.
Love is a beautiful gift. The most precious of all gifts and yet you need not pay anything to get it. The most valuable things in life come free - Love is the most important of those.
But why love yourself?
To love yourself you need to accept yourself as you are.
You need to forgive yourself of all your faults and failings. (Who doesn’t have them?) 
Some of us are really harsh on ourselves.
When we are harsh on ourselves we are harsh on others too. Sometimes even cynical and bitter that people try to keep away from us. Our attitudes and approach become skeptical and negative at times.
Loving yourself, changes the way you approach people and things, you take a more compassionate and forgiving attitude towards others.
This makes you approachable and seem more human. People find it easy to interact with you, without you cutting them down to bite size.
When you love yourself, your confidence levels increase. Your self-esteem or self-worth is high. This is so because you do not wait for approval from others to love yourself, you love yourself for who you are.
With a higher level of self confidence you are free to perform to your highest potential.
Your levels of negativity receives a death blow when you love yourself. Your normal self critical attitude is not allowed to raise its voice so free on every issue. To tend to take a more positive approach to life, with a little more self-awareness and vigilance on the kind of thoughts you think, you can turn every thought into a positive one.
When you love yourself you tend to be more careful of what you eat, how you feel and how you look. You become a little more careful because you understand the importance of your health. The healthier your body, the better your mind and actions.
Loving yourself is not about being narcissistic, loving yourself at the exclusion of others is, which is not self-love but self-lust.
To be continued ....

Self-improvement - Mentoring

wikimedia commons

Are you interested in self-improvement? Mentor someone today. I am saying this in right earnest, mentor someone, if you thought mentoring someone - perhaps some youth or a child or even a colleague at work is doing them a favour you may have to change your opinion by the time to get to the end of this short article.
Mentoring or informal sharing or transferring of knowledge is a great way to keep abreast of things. Changes keep happening in every field, as new development takes place, more often older people get used to their ways of functioning and understanding. While mentoring a younger individual with fresh knowledge or possibly very less knowledge on the subject, you make an effort to blend theory with the practical experience and share the richness of your knowledge with someone.. and while teaching you always get fresh and new insights.
Mentees teach you to be patient and the help you see yourself as you have once been. They teach you to be slow, and unassuming. They help put things into perspective for you.
Counselling is apart of mentoring. More often than not you need to counsel  your protegees. It is not enough to teach or pass on the knowledge, but also understand and appreciate them as human beings. The effectiveness of your mentoring will depend on the level of their ability to learn adjust and adapt to the changes around them.
Your ability to see the potential in the individual and hone their skills which maybe latent and sometimes which the mentee himself/herself is unaware of is what makes you become a better human being.
The joy of seeing the people you mentor thrive and flourish is what brings credit to your ability, not just as a professional but as a person who is really cares about others.
Your sincere commitment and personal interest is challenged in such situations and brings the best out if you and your protege, but there maybe no rewards and yet the satisfaction that it brings is priceless.
The very fact that someone accepts you as a mentor, means they deposit complete and unshakable faith in your person and in your abilities. They admire and look up to you, wanting to emulate that which they see in you. I would consider this as the greatest honor one human being could give another. Yet, it comes with the great responsibility of having to live up to this expectation.
You become the biggest positive influence in the life of your protege.
You are the driving force, the one who shows the way.

You become the diamond polisher that no one sees, but values the diamond that shines and sparkles, because you took the time to work on it.
This is a great responsibility indeed and you need to pay a price, though keep in mind, that you may not be financially or socially recognized for it and yet you would have found the greatest force of all.. self realization, You would have discovered the new you in you!
Become a mentor today!

How to find yourself.... finding yourself

Sofspics - finding yourself

How to find yourself, finding yourself, be yourself

Sounds like a piece of cake... why do you need to write an article on this? Is it easy as it sounds? I am not so sure. One of the hardest things to do, is, to find yourself.
More often than not we confuse ourselves for what we think we are or what we aspire to be, as what we really are.
How then do you find yourself? you may ask.
Often, what we believe of ourselves may not be the same as what others think of us. If you think a whole bunch of people are mistaken or do not understand you ...think again. There could be two sides to this, one is you might be projecting yourself wrongly or you may lack self-awareness.
There should be an intersection where your opinion of yourself match with what others think...this is the area where there is clarity. Most often than not, this could be about your talents and potential which is clearly visible and can be measured easily and simple stuff like what you like to eat or watch..
This other part of you, your thoughts and attitudes should be something that you could easily keep track of, if you decide to write them down or become aware of your active thinking processes.
Your motives or why you do the things you do or just the way you do them.. could be a tricky area, which takes a great deal of honesty and integrity from your side to become exposed even to you. You could hide them from yourself as easily as you could hide them from the world. A deep, long look within, could tell you if you are willing to admit the profound truths about who you are. I do not know of a better way of you ever finding yourself, other than to explore the depths of your being.
There are those secret parts that remain hidden from you and buried deeply into your unconscious mind. It may come up during sleep or deep moments of meditation or super-conscious levels. This takes a lot of training and effort, but it is not impossible.
Being yourself is possible, as you become open and ready to accept some information, which you had attempted to keep away from the world and become comfortable with yourself. You could find your inhibitions melting away and that it is easy to share of yourself. When you reveal more of yourself, you would also find a whole new world opening out to you.
Find yourself and live it. Yes, be honest to yourself, change what can be changed and live the life you have always wanted to live.
Integrity and honesty is what we need. Watch out for all excuses you give yourself, they may give you a clue. Often when people say “I don’t care vehemently” that is when I know what hurts them the most. It is okay to admit your weaknesses, actually it is important to admit them for some serious self improvement to take place in you.
In finding yourself you might find a new life.. track your thoughts and you might find yourself hidden among them.

Don’t be limited by your mind - Self improvement

Expand your mind. 

We are often limited by what we think. The other day I was asked to write something, that was in many ways limited, and as I read the instructions I thought, oh! this is not my culture, not my style, not my way of thinking, but I still wrote it and you guessed it, the results were nothing worth talking about.

My approach to the subject was wrong. Had I looked at it as a challenge, a possibility, a new idea or opportunity I would have made something of my experience. Your mind is your limit.

On the other hand, I saw a forum discussion on how difficult it was to compete in a poetry contest for which one had to write five hundred words. I was not planning to enter the competition myself but thought it would be a great challenge. I thought of a subject and put pen to paper (rather banged away at my keypad) five hundred words were not a problem at all is what I discovered. It is your thinking! You are your worst enemy!

I keep training my mind and saying to myself I am not limited by anything, age, health, language, subject etc. But when I am not so alert, negative thoughts creep in and spoil the opportunities that could have taken me places.

Being alert is a way to keep your mind open to new possibilities and not letting your negative thoughts put a cap on your ability.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so". says Shakespeare in Hamlet, there can be no truer saying than that. There is nothing which can deter you if you decide it is not a problem.

‘I have no time’, ‘I do not know this’,’I cannot understand’, ‘Math is hard’,’I am not good at it’, etc are ways of limiting your mind. Consider how many times and in how many ways you limit your potential.
If you had opened your mind to the opportunities you would have mastered more things in your lifetime than you currently have.Your mind is the most powerful resource, you have learn to optimise it. Try a new thing every day... especially those things which you always thought not possible, like rappelling or bungee jumping or maybe less weird stuff that you have been afraid to face, public speaking for example.

Expand your mind, teach yourself a new skill. We are never too old to learn, it is all in the mind. My seventy nine year old neighbour taught herself to paint a year ago and now she does such great work, that so may of her friends (her age) have been inspired to do the same. Her arthritis and blood sugar levels have no power over her mind. She is my inspiration too.

Be around people who inspire you. 

Leave your comfort zone, push yourself to go a little further.

Never stop learning, practice what you learn.

Challenges and oppositions are great, regard them as your friends.

Think creatively, think laterally.

Find your passion and explore newer territories.

Enjoy what you do and you will find your comfort zone expand.

Get the best of your life..live it to the hilt.

Read articles on self-improvement or inspirational quotes and let them inspire you. 

All you need to do is to take the limits off your mind and you will see your personality bloom and change like it has never been before.

Personal Development and personal maturity

Personal Maturity

As human beings we all strive to be our best. We desire to be known for our best qualities and for which we need to grow and mature as individuals. We all grow from childhood to teen years and into adulthood, but do we really gain the same level of personal maturity? No, we differ widely in this area. Having excellent professional skills or great IQ in itself does not mean that you have personal maturity.

What then is personal maturity?

Personal maturity is the total competence of a person, his/her competence and ability to adjust in these areas of cognition, affect and conation.

While cognition deals with one’s intelligence and competency in that area, affect deals with emotional competency and adjustment. Conation deals with behaviour, how one acts upon those thoughts and feelings.

So Maturity as we understand is how you perceive, emote and act in response to a particular person, place, things or situation.

A person could be intelligent, brilliant his professional skills, but poor in the areas of emotional and behavioural competencies.

I will be dealing with the affective or emotional and cognitive maturity in this post and the next few posts.

Emotional Maturity

There are a whole bunch of components that fall under the banner of emotional maturity.

we shall deal with a few here and take it to the next post where the rest can be dealt with.

Emotional control - here we consider the ability of the individual to have adequate control over his/her emotions, especially anger, jealousy, anxiety, worry, sadness, happiness etc.

Well I can see why anger or jealousy or sadness should be controlled but - why happiness you may ask . Yes even happiness needs to be expressed appropriately and within the limits of social acceptance. If you see someone being overly excited and acting it out, what would be the first thought to cross your mind? We just need to keep things in perspective.

The ability to express anger or disappointment needs to be done in a way that is controlled but clear, dignified and not provocative. Often people lose it all when the react instead of respond to the situation.

The ability to accept the faults of others is extremely important, no one is perfect.  So why act is if you are? Especially when your anger shows you to be totally out of control. Whip lashing people even with words that sound controlled can be seen for what they are, emotions speak loud and clear so reign them in, show them who is boss.

Being able to keep yourself in a positive frame of mind and focus on enjoying what you have should keep sadness at bay. Worry never did or never will let you achieve anything so why worry?

Being self controlled is the key. Self discipline and focus on your goals could help you keep your emotions in check. Strive to strike a balance, stick to a middle path veering more to the side of happiness could help you stay balanced.

The feeling of security and self-confidence is another major factor in emotional maturity. The ability to trust people to give and take and have a balanced relationship is be an important step in emotional maturity.

If you feel that a witch hunt is on just because someone criticised you, you need to know that you are losing it. Taking negative feedback in the right spirit is the way to grow. If you wanted the whole world to agree with you don’t ask for feedback. Be ready to accept the truth when it is told, even if it tastes bitter. Gulp it, bitter medicines always leave you feeling better.


To be continued .... have a great day :)

Personal development - Personal branding for success

Building and establishing a personal brand is making a mark for yourself. I would simplify the whole concept to say that it is making yourself known for certain qualities. The moment people meet you or hear your name it is your personal attribute quality or brand that comes to their mind. When you hear a friend mention a name even though you do not know the person well you say,” oh that vivacious young lady” or “that confident young woman” . This would mean that the person has a brand identity. It is other peoples perception of you and what you stand for. I had discussed packing and presenting yourself a few days ago on my blog, this is another way of looking at packaging and presenting yourself. But what we need to remember is that, this is not an act. This is a way of presenting yourself or what you are and for what you stand. 

Why do you need to have a brand? Well, that is the way you are known. I am not speaking about popularity here, what I mean is that, it is your personal logo. When you see a that golden + on a car you identify it as the Chevy logo or Chevrolet. Why? Because it catches your attention, the color the design and attractiveness of the logo - I would also like to mention the simplicity of the logo, that is so easy to remember the maker.

Identify your brand - How do people see you? what values or qualities do you represent the most. It is so easy to figure this out. Keep a watch on what you love to write about, or speak about or feel passionately about. Do people see you as representing these qualities or it is just how you see yourself? This is not play acting but establishing your identity, your qualities need to shine through. These qualities have to be in you , you cannot fake them for long.

Establishing your brand. You are not in competition with others for a brand name as in the case of products, so this is easy. Focus on those qualities that you have identified as representing you and make them shine out. Develop these qualities, work on them and make your passion show up for you.

Visibility is gained slowly as you develop your personal brand. Your become known as the self-help expert or personal development Guru over a period of time. It would be wise not to over promote yourself as it cannot not stand up to the test of time. Nothing happens over night but you need to work slowly and steadily to see a change.Your visibility gives you a career boost, a name and standing in professional circles, that is what personal branding can do for you. 

Passion and individuality is what it speaks more loudly about. Personal brand makes you stand out in the crowd and be known for who you are. Your zeal and passion provide that lift you need to soar high. I am not keen on popularity votes, but I still would like to be known for the right things than for all the wrong things. What you love, you do more often, what you do becomes a part of you in a period of time. So let your passion take the right direction and help you create the personal branding you need.

Self-improvement - Seven steps to happiness in life

Seven steps to happiness in life

Happiness is the most sought after thing in the world. I am sure no one would ever decline happiness and why should they?. Happiness is indeed the natural or moral right of everyone on the face of the earth. The sad part is happiness is not a commodity that you need to run after, it is within you to summon up your resources and make yourself happy. 

Here I suggest seven steps to happiness in life. Yes, happiness is a state of mind that is you are in control of. It is a decision to remain in a particular state of mind. Are you saying that doesn’t work? can I ask you a question? Have you ever told yourself that you will remain angry with someone because they hurt you and remain that way no matter what.. well if you can do that you can remain happy too. Have you also noticed the more you pretend the more angry you get. I can see that you are getting the drift... in this article I discuss the seven steps to finding real happiness in life.

Prioritize or as Steven covey would say first things first. You need to find the things or activities that make you happy. This would be different for different people - though family, relationships, passion or interests, spirituality etc. are often the most common things that make people happy. Find your key to happiness and allocate more time to it. What you do most of your time is what remains with you most of your life. Make these things your priority, for example business may be important but it may not give you the happiness that your family or relationship brings you. Give it its rightful place in your life. Organize your other activities around it. The other activities are all meant to maintain and aid the primary objective. It would be wonderful to keep this in mind all the time and not lose focus of it if you want happiness in life. 

Keep life simple to find happiness in life. Minimize the clutter and keep life simple . Too many activities and interests take up too much energy and your focus is spread all over the place. De-clutter your life of all those activities that are not so important, but take too much of your time and stop you from adequately focusing on your goal. Clutter in terms of hoarding material possession, or collecting rubbish hoping that someday you will put it to good use should also be taken into account.

Live within your means. I am never tired of giving this piece of advice, there are more people who need this than we think. Never spend the money that you do not yet have on hands. Credit card spending is just that. Plan your finances in such a way that after you basic and primary needs are budgeted, you include the secondary but necessary expenses, now add your monthly saving to it and what you have left is what you can use for planning your holiday or second car or second house. This cuts out impulsive spending and waste of precious resources.

Take care of your health. A good exercise routine and a healthy, balanced, natural diet should be on high on your list of priority. It is better to promote health and prevent disease than battle with it, waste your financial resources and live a life that is hardly a life worth talking about. 

Butterfly by Sofs Su

The small things in life are what make you happy. The orchid that blooms in my window sill can thrill me to no end. The butterfly that I have captured on film, fills me with pride and joy. The little things are what make life beautiful. Relationships and people are fragile and need to be handled with care. Do not go through life like a tornado, take time to tell people you love and care for them, It may be too late when you decide that you want them. Take time to smell the roses and enjoy each moment relishing every bit of it. Make each day count.

Stop complaining and learn to live positively. Perception is what makes things as they seem, look at your environment with a positive attitude and it will work things out positively for you. Negativity kills life in the womb, with positivism you can’t go very wrong. 

Never say never, act and you will get somewhere. At least you would have tried rather than watch life pass by you.

Never stop learning, never stop doing good. A powerful principle I have learned over the years that never fails to bring me happiness. Learning is empowering yourself to life an enriched and meaningful life, whilst doing good takes the focus from it being all about you to the other people who need help. When you look around and see the problems of others you little worries pale in comparison. Make a difference in the lives of others in your own small way, think beyond your needs, you will find true happiness in life.

Taking personal responsibility - Personal development

Taking personal responsibility - pic by sofs

Taking personal responsibility is a uniquely adult behavior. It brings with it a stamp of trust and dependability. People fail not because of circumstances and situation but because they refuse to take personal responsibility for their lives. Making excuses is easy, you can always shift the responsibility to someone or something. It takes courage and boldness to say the buck stops here. I am responsible for that muck up and I will handle that.
The question of personal responsibility is thrown in your face when you face the greatest challenges of your life. In the final analysis how do you sum up, I succeeded or failed because of the decision I made or I would have succeeded if not for that or this...
If we attribute our failures to if and buts we need to attribute our successes to the very same reasons. Look at the major problems in the lives of individuals today- divorce or broken marriages and poorly raised children, financial problems etc.. and you would clearly see the break down of personal; responsibility leading to these problems.
I would like to take up the issue of finances, if each individual learned to live within our means and used the plastic card that was meant to simplify life, wisely, we would not have the huge financial crisis that we are facing in the world today. Planning is at the head of this.. When I plan for the month, I first list out the major absolutely essential expenses, next the money I need to save for the major objectives I have for the family, for the next five years..eg the education of children, the house that I want to buy, the car that needs to be bought and the like. This way I know how much money I can spend on other things..especially the impulsive buying is totally cut out.. I also rule out the possibility of loans and other not so well thought out commitments that can push me into debt. That is the responsibility I take for my family’s finances.
Every decision I take, every thought I think, every word I speak is my responsibility. I create my environment by the things I do. I am responsible for my life and the way things happen around me.
I am personally responsible for my happiness and the direction my life takes, because each turn is decided by the choices and decisions I make.
I write online for a particular site where things aren’t going well for most people. Now every one is pointing fingers at the CEO..I wonder if they same voices that mutter now gave him credit for the times when things went on so well at this site.. I for one believe that I am as responsible as he is..this place where I work is mine too :)
I believe that good times and bad times are part of life and if I benefit from the good times, I benefit more from the bad times as I learn the important survival skills and understand the kind of people around me.
Personal responsibility is my strength ..is it yours too?

Self-improvement - Packaging and presenting yourself - Interpersonal skills

Self-development - Interpersonal skills 

It is important to package and present yourself for the job the assignment or that you desire to get yourself into. Very often we package ourselves the way we have been, our thoughts and our actions tell others where we come from, but they rarely reflect our destination or goal.

I have seen many a wanna be writer online using slangs and cuss words, which is not so becoming of their profile of a writer who wants to be taken seriously. They just have not packed themselves sufficiently well for the job. You need to walk the talk. People can sense things about you even though they do not see you, just by reading your content online.

It is all the more important when you have to present yourself for an interview or to a social group that could be your potential business clients.

It is great to accept yourself as you are, but when you need to be accepted for your professional or social or even academic attributes, you need to package yourself well. It is like selling a product, no one puts out a badly packaged product in the market. The product is made appealing to the customer in so many ways, even before the product is launched the packaging starts to work it way into the minds of people. The marketing people decide on the reach of the product, which target group it caters to, which line should they tow while advertising the product and make it appealing to the customer. Then comes the product itself, They decide how it needs to catch the eye of the customer despite the competition.

The packaging does not remain the same over the years, it changes with the times and the requirements. How can we not change and make ourselves more presentable than these product we buy for a dime a dozen?

We need to keep abreast of the changes around us. Especially in the area of technology, functional knowledge and maybe even physical appearances. There are so many products and services available in the market today that help us look fairly good even in our advancing years, so why not make use of them without going in for dramatic changes.

Technological changes really need us to be on our feet. The Internet that is widely available to us is a great tool to help us keep abreast. The base of knowledge that we had acquired as college graduate has now changed so much and new information is being added to it everyday. The language we us, the way we communicate or our interpersonal skills may also need to a little tweaking. We need to keep all this in mind and package ourselves attractively for the job at hand.

To be accepted for your professional skills and knowledge is great, it boosts your self esteem. But if you do not package yourself well for the market you may remain on the shelves, left behind, because other products though of lesser value have better packaging than you. I do not mean that there are no loyal customers, but the value of what you could have been would now never be known because you underplayed the way you presented yourself in the market place.

Change is the essence of life, whether it is the way we look or think or approach others. We need to be changing and evolving constantly. Learning is the way to go. No one is to old to change or be repackaged.

Get ready for the best !!