Thursday, October 20, 2011
Talking to yourself? The first thing that comes to mind when you see someone talk to themselves is, boy do they need help? But I would recommend to talk to yourself - purposefully.
All talking is not good but purposeful self-talk is, I mean talking to yourself about things that matter. To help understand why you need to talk to yourself. Often our thinking is not very goal directed, especially if it is about ourselves, we tend to get caught up in so many related thoughts and emotions associated with the main thought that we are thinking and tend to get side lined into some emotional alley.
We think through so many things, but when we put them into words either by writing or speaking to someone, we gain more clarity on these issues.Like wise it is important to talk yourself into or out of certain actions or behaviors. You may want stop reacting in a particular way to a person for example with hate or you may want to be more motivated or goal oriented. In such situation self-talk is the best thing to do.
Talking to yourself need not be an act of madness. you can make it the sanest and the most meaningful thing that you have ever done in all your life.What is the most troubling aspect of your like that you need to bring about a change in. Take it up.. let us say you need to motivate yourself to achieve your goals. You need to talk to yourself about how important it is to you. Go into details and tell yourself the ways in which it would help you and make sure that you convince yourself of the need for such a change. Encourage yourself saying ‘you can do it’.
Have you seen the best of sportsmen talking to themselves during a crucial game, nobody thinks of them as mad. They just goad themselves on to do their best.
Counter negative thought with positive loud (I mean loud enough for you to hear) talking.. if need be, get into the wash room open the tap and say what you want to say, aloud. Talk positive to yourself.If you have stop your self from criticizing people or being judgmental about them when your thoughts go down the dark alley open your mouth to make a positive observation about the person.
Fear is another area when you can talk to yourself effectively. Telling yourself you have nothing to fear, you can do this, you have put in enough practice etc will reinforce all that is positive in you.
Stress is another situation when self-talk does help. Once you have thrashed out the situation and vented out anger, you feel more relaxed. But make sure you are alone or speak inaudibly.
I have a friend who speaks to her pots and pans and everything in the kitchen. She once said to the cake batter I know you will taste good when you have gone through hell. I was stunned, but reflecting on it, I understood that she was actually encouraging herself to have courage in the situation she was in.
She also embarrasses me when we go shopping together, once she asked an expensive bale of cloth ‘should I buy you?’ The salesman rolled his eyes.. she did not even seem to care , she added “ you are not worth it, neither your color nor your price suit me.” I realized it helped her make decisions, but I had to tell her that people do not look favorably on such loud talk in public. She still talks to herself but less audibly.
It helps her.I speak to my plants, I tell them I love them, I speak to my dog, I tell her I love her, I speak to myself when I am idle or tardy and tell myself ‘you can’t do that .. you ought to be working harder and faster”. That helps me to keep things in check.
Talk to yourself purposefully, but don’t draw negative attention to yourself. Motivate and goad yourself to be the best.