How do you find yourself - Finding yourself

Finding yourself - sofspics

One of life's most arduous quests is the process of finding yourself. We are often quick to figure others out or at least we think so. With a little bit of experience, knowledge and objectivity you could figure what makes most people tick, but this may not be so when it is about yourself. Most people don't know the real person within. They are so caught up in the games they play, perhaps to get ahead in life or to achieve their goals, that their real self gets lost in the facade that they have built for the world to see. The sad part is that after a while they start believing in the lie that they live.
I believe that the inner core - the real you is your values, beliefs and all those things that are important to you. Your family, your spouse and all that has been close to your heart which you may have lost sight of in your scramble for success could be an important part of the real you.

How to find yourself?

You are not your goals or the things that you run after. You are not even your thoughts or desires. You may be all those things that you really do not want others to see in you and judge you for. You may be loving, kind, truthful etc., which you may hide from the world as the world does not consider these as the qualities of a winner. You maybe all those beliefs that you have held close to your heart, but don’t want others to know about. You may need to be discovered.

How do you find the real you?
Peel away the layers of pretenses that you have carefully cloaked yourself with for the sake of the world. I know a lady who is kind-hearted and loving, but she is often rude and arrogant. People wonder how I can even have anything in common with this woman. It is the glimpses of her that I see from time to time that helps me put up with her arrogance. She needs to protect herself from being hurt, so she hurts. That is her belief.
Impressionable and open people often use the guise of knowledge, logic and agnostic beliefs just to appear strong and invincible. They are so caught up in protecting themselves that they forget that is okay to be weak.
Introspection. Ask yourself questions. Spend time contemplating why you think and act the way you do. Be ready to listen to the strange voices that may throw up surprising answers at you. Do not push them aside - write them down and make time to consider the truth of those thoughts. Delve deep.
Solitude. Solitude is your companion to finding yourself. If you could spend time with yourself, thinking about you, ruthlessly seeking after the truth, asking those questions and figuring out the answers to them, it will not be long before you find yourself.
Journal - write your thoughts without editing them. Don't judge yourself on them, you could change your life in the right direction, but true awareness is a must. I often sit at the computer and type the random thoughts that run through my mind.. never censoring them. I do this especially when my mind is not seriously engaged in some writing or when I have to deal with some strong emotions/problems. I am  at times surprised by the real me.
Write down your deepest desires and thoughts about yourself. This will help you get you an idea of who you are, your aspirations for the person you want to be.. and where you are at the moment. This is not about your goals and ambitions, this needs to be about the person - you.
Ask your friends about your flaws. If they are your friends they will discuss them frankly with you. If you have had a problem accepting negative reviews in the past they may want to avoid the question. Make it clear to them that you are taking an inventory of yourself and you want the truth - you will get the truth. Do not come up with excuses or dialogues about being misunderstood. Take it all, mull it over when you are calm and you may find elements of truth in them. This is how the world sees you. It also gives you an idea of how to find yourself.
Your critics may often speak the truth, but in a harsh way. Take what is needed and don't worry about the rest.
Look beyond yourself, serve others. You may discover many things about you that you had no inkling of. Help others at every opportunity, listen to their troubles. Mentor someone, do someone a good turn. It helps you understand what life is all about and helps you to find yourself in the process.
You may even like the real you within you!