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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

How to say I am sorry

Should you say I am sorry? How to say sorry? What will the other person think? There are so many questions when it comes to these three words, ‘I am sorry’. Most of us have been made to feel even as children that to say sorry is to accept defeat.  But that word sorry proves your mettle. Many men find it impossible to say, ‘I am sorry’, ‘I have hurt you’. ‘I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have said what I said’ or ‘done what I did’. The insecurity deep within us makes us think that when we say sorry, the other person would somehow have power over us.
In any relationship the word sorry has to be used frequently. Not because we have to make compromises, but because we commit mistakes, because we love, because that relationship means so much more to us than our silly egos. I have had the opportunity to meet a man who had never uttered the word sorry irrespective of what he did. Rationalising was his way to cope with the issue. The relationship did not stand a chance. On the other hand I have learned to make it a point l to say sorry even if I was on the right. This has helped me in most of my relationships with people.

What does saying I am sorry mean...
Sorry means you are strong enough to accept your fault.
Sorry means you care.
Sorry means you love.
Sorry means you want to mend fences.
Sorry means that you are willing to change.
Sorry means you know yourself.

How do I say sorry?
Well say it in person if you can and mean it. Accept your part. Tell the person that you were sorry that you hurt him or her. Look into his /her eyes and say it with sincerity.
Sending flowers and a card is great but follow up with a personal voicing of your regret.

Sorry but...
Oh never do that, the but cancels all that you said before. Saying sorry is not hard if you love/care enough.
Saying sorry is a way of showing respect for the persons deep feelings.
Saying I am sorry makes you a real man/woman. A person who is fallible, sometimes weak. Just remember that all of us make mistakes.
People can never relate to a person who cannot say sorry, this tells them that their relationship would be full of compromises and they would have to make all of it. This does not make sense, as all relationships are based on love, mutual trust, give and take and compromise. 

When you say sorry the other person feels this way..
Comfortable with you in the relationship.
Sees a reason to work through small issues and not make a big deal of it.
Loves you more for your sensitive nature.
Feels valued and respected.
Feels like they have to go the extra mile to be good to you.

You also project yourself as
A strong person in command of himself/herself.
A person capable of righting a wrong.
A person who knows how to handle his/her emotions.
Knows his worth and value.
Is confident but not proud or egoistic.
Saying sorry could never put you in a vulnerable position, if you haven’t tried it until now, try it right away and see the results! You would have saved a beautiful relationship.  

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