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"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily." - ZigZiglar

Friday, January 28, 2011

Saving the Marriage

Saving the marriage has been a topic close to my heart as I see hundreds of marriages around me breaking and for no great reasons at all. Marriage is institution that has been most maligned by those who do not believe in it or because they seek more freedom in their sexual exploits.


Here are some tips to fix or save the marriage...

Keep the romance alive, act as though you are still dating your partner. Take your date out to those places where you would have taken her if she was just your date and not your wife. Playfulness and keeping thing light will help the romance to blossom and the marriage come back to its healthy state.

Love and respect for each other is the key to a happy marriage. Couples need to remind each other and themselves why you married the other. This is the very core of marriage and this is why you came together in the first palce. These very bases need to be strengthened.

Couples need to work on pleasing each other mentally, emotionally and physically. You need to learn to be good friends and companions, buddies and lovers before you act as a married couple. This can save many marriages. Strike the right emotional balance in relationships.

You need to function as a unit. You are a team and you have to be standing togther for each other. Zig Ziglar says, "Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side." If you stopped playing your individual games and started playing it as a couple you could be working with the strength of two, instead of one.
This would mean planning activities, budgeting, saving, spending, goals etc as a team instead of as singles.

Responding instead of reacting would be a great way of saving your marriage. Most marriages are broken because of anger and reacting emotionally to situations. Controlling negative emotions and sorting out issues when you have calmed down would save any marriage.

Couples should watch what you say about each other. Words that are teasingly said in privacy are overlooked even if they are negative, but words that are negative, and  that are uttered in front of friends, family or colleagues could cause major rifts in the relationship. It is better to always speak positively about your partner when you have company and deal with the negatives in privacy.

It is never too late, communicate your expectations, to each other. expecting your partner to read your mind and fulfill your need would be an impossible task. Though it is awkward at first it is easy once you get into the habit of doing it. Be realistic, do not expect your partner to be super human. Know what your woman/man wants in the relationship.

Trust your partner, never jump to conclusions and accuse each other. Always ask questions seek clarification with an open mind and your understanding of each other will grow and your relationship will become stronger.

Don't bear grudges and bring up the past when ever you fight. Make sure that you discuss one issue at a time.


Often people treat their spouse worse than they would treat a person they have never seen before. Treating your spouse with respect , compassion and consideration goes along way.

Find your meeting ground, your basic beliefs, values , ideals etc. and work on them together. these strengthen relationships in the long run.

Finally hang in there, never give up. Fight to save the marriage with all that you have and you will have one that will be worth all the pain!

Best wishes for a wonderful marriage!!



Marriage advice - fifteen keys to a happy marriage

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