Surprises Make The Sweetest Memories

Life is full of surprises. It happens instantaneously and has the power to change your mood for the day or sometimes even the very outlook of your life. It has the power to amaze you and fill you with instant energy. Best of all, it makes memories and sometimes the sweetest ones.

Many years ago we (my spouse and I) had taken in (emotionally adopted) two 

young people into our hearts and lives. (For the purpose of anonymity I have chosen to represent both these individuals as young women.) We treated them like our children, took them wherever we went and shared our lives with them. Life was good and then things changed. 

One of those young persons decided that she didn't want to be adopted, she also decided that she did not need protection or guidance from others anymore and made her own decisions with life. No amount of pleading, cautioning, explaining could change her mind. It was then I decided to let go and let her do her own thing with life. It was her life after all and she had every right to make her own mistakes and learn from them, we were just adopted parents. Mistakes she made, numerous ones and it cost her, her happiness and peace. It hurt us to watch destroy herself, all I could do was to cry silently and pray for her. 

Years passed and we learned to live without her. Things began to normalize and then more surprise happened. She called me up one day seeming for some advice about her career. I helped her out with that, but deep within I knew she wanted to speak about other important things. I did not want to offer any unsolicited advice which I thought would again trigger her rebellious nature. Time passed by, she called me up regularly and struck up some inane conversation. We both knew that we wanted to talk about things that really mattered, but we never did. Finally when she couldn’t bear her suffering anymore she broke down and asked for help. 

The trust she had in me to help her with 'the biggest decision' in her life and the faith she placed in me to admit that she was wrong moved me to tears. Life was perfect once again. However, what she told me was an eye-opener, She hated that she was adopted, she hated that we protected her from the harsh realities of life, she hated that her decisions were always colored by what we expected of her. 

Amazingly, all the things she said she hated are the things she seeks from us now. Our life experiences changes the way we look at people and ourselves. Life never ceases to surprise us. For me this wasn't just an experience, it is a lesson for life. We offered two kids the same kind of love and care. Each of them responded differently to them. The other young person has always taken my advice, always wanted my approval and always lived by our standards. She has been independent financially for a few years now, but emotionally I continue to be what I was to her when I first took her in.

The once rebellious child has now become the closest and most needy young woman. She even told me she treasures our relationship so much, that she is willing to let go of her freedom. Now, it was my turn to rebel, I believe in freedom. I believe in love that does not hold on. I surprised myself again. Surprises never cease, they are the spice of life. 

Today, I not only have lovely daughters and my biological children, but also sweet memories to hold on to when life takes another turn. But, what is that to me. I am always ready to accept life as it comes and deal with it like a solder, surprises or not.